The World is Online...

When my nephew was just a little tyke, his kindergarten teacher asked him a question. He didn't know the answer, so he replied "I don't know, I'll have to check my email". If this isn't an indication of where we are today, I don't know what is.

Online is everywhere. I am actually surprised that all printed news media isn't obsolete already. We look online for movie listings, for recipes, and oddly enough for friends.

For singles, like me, online is a world of social networking. Finding online friends is easy but how do you meet people online for dating purposes? That's the hard part. I recently signed up for the 2 big dating sites (the ones based on chemistry and personality profiles).

Now, I'm a reasonable girl. I don't expect a lot when it comes to relationships. I'm simply looking for a man that can be himself. He only needs to be honest and open. I don't really care what he looks like, I've never been concerned about that. Honestly, I am one of the few women I know that actually likes bald men! The main point is that he must be comfortable with himself and happy with who he is.

Enter "chemistry.com". Now, since I'm on disability and don't work, actually PAYING for these sites is not possible for me. However, it is possible to create a profile and see what matches are made for you. I'm sure it's all very scientific. Here's the catch....are the men really being honest when they answer the questions?

I really have a hard time picturing that biker dude enjoying the opera. Am I wrong to judge the book by the cover? Somehow, even if he did loose the dew rag (or however that is spelled) and shave the handlebar mustache, could he get into a nice fuzzy sweater and button-down shirt to go to the Long Center? Would he be comfortable going to museums? These are things that one must consider when all you have is the cover to use in making decisions. With that said, I have chosen many wonderful books simply because I liked the cover...so it stands to reason, in my mind, that this philosophy would work with online dating. I'm not saying I wouldn't go out with the biker dude, I just can't picture "chemistry" happening when potential conflict exists in just the cover...so why waste his time and mine?

Next entry: "Free communication weekend". Profile was created and matches made. Not terribly impressed with any men on my list...but intrigued just the same. Then the offer to communicate (without paying for the service) was presented. Suddenly, I'm inundated with messages. Weed through and find 2 that I'm willing to talk to. One I could tell right away was European...and if you know me, you know what a turn on that is. The other, a less impressive cover, but cute (and tall) just the same.

Several emails later, I went on a date with the less impressive cover. We had a nice dinner and conversation. Unfortunately, the last few men that have asked me out had problems speaking their native language. That really bothers me. Both of these men used words like "prolly" for probably, and "supposably" for supposedly, and my biggest pet peeve word: "liberry" for (obviously) library.

Does this make me a snob for wanting to spend time with a man that has a firm grasp on language? It only stands to reason (again, in my mind, at least) that if he's going to be open and honest he needs to be able to express it. So, if he uses words like "supposably", then is he really capable of expressing himself? I do feel a bit like Jerry Seinfeld - "I didn't like the way she ate her peas" or "she had man hands"...but, I think, when considering a partner, intellect and the ability to communicate is muy importante!

Maybe this is why I'm still single...I expect too much? I don't think so actually. I have spent too many years settling on men that were just not right for me. I even married so far beneath myself (not that I have some grand station in life) that I'm still shocked, 11 years later, that I could have been so stupid and let myself be manipulated in such a way. I learned that lesson the hard way!

Some people might think that at my age, I should just grab which ever available man is around. I think at my age, I have earned the right to be extremely picky. I won't settle for anything less that I deserve.

Online dating can be great for some people. I happen to know a couple that met this way, got married, had a baby, and are very happy. For me, I am willing to think that it can work...but only if all parties involved are being honest, and how can ya tell? I guess that's where the faith part comes in and the digging begins. I guess I do get to be a bit of an archeologist after all.